Wow....am I getting close to 11 months of soberity. I can't really even believe it. I knew that once 2009 came that my soberity date was going to be coming faster then ever...and here it comes...
I have a really good friend that has become even closer to me in the last couple of days. He was four months out of a recovery center and wasnt really working a program at all. It really reminded me of how I was when I first came out of the Beacon House...all the way down to not getting a sponsor..
Well just like me...he drank again. He drank because he thought that he wasnt an alcoholic. That he could drink like normal people. exactly like I did..59 days into my soberity...We both thought that we could have just one drink...and it not have any lasting effect on us...
And of course..that was not the case...both him and I drank and went down really hard. I can remember asking men what the hell that i had to do to get it this time...and they said...just listen.
and thats what he is doing...right back in the drivers seat. going to meetings...and asking people that have come before for help...
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I used to think like this: "Oh, I totally have step one down. Perfectly. Because I am *totally* an alcoholic. I know this."
ReplyDeleteBut then a relapse happened at 14 months of sobriety and then again and again. Now I think like this: "Stop trying to disprove the fact that you are an alcoholic. It ain't gonna happen." I have always had to go back step one, because as smart as I think I am, I keep having to relearn this. Which is retarded, btw. So good job! and Keep it up!