This is going to be really intense. This love thing that's going on
inside of me...learning to love myself, so that I can give that love
to someone else. And all of those thoughts come across my mind...that
are busy getting in line.
Just since recovery came for me...I can feel this fountian of love.
Love that I always knew was inside there...but just didn't know how to
bring across. It was always brought across very wrong. I used what I
thought was love...to get exactly what it was that I wanted. Now I
know that it feels different...and I pulled the trigger pretty fast.
And the time just wasn't right. I so wanted it to be...but it just
couldn't be forced...and I always had forced it in the past. Because I
was the one that was controling everything.but this time all that I
could do was let go...not hold on too tight.
And just see what happens. I know that there is an unlimited place
where the love lives inside of me..
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I can totally remember this feeling - the relief of sobriety brings about all these feelings that are just - well - better.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first got sober, I couldn't bend my mind around the concept of a higher power (Dementia religious mother growing up). So what I did was envision myself as I wanted to be sober, healthier, happier, more compassionate, and loving. Almost 5 years later I can truly say, it happens...And then you wonder why you didn't grasp this feeling sooner. (Hugs)Indigo
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