You Can Only Live Your Life

I don't even know how I feel right now. Well maybe I do.

Something happened to me a couple of days ago that really disappointed me. It has something that has given me the same reaction almost every single time that I hear it happen. I have heard it so many times since I got sober and I expect to hear it so many times more... but it always sucks when I do hear it.

I am talking about when someone that you love and care about says that they have had a drink. People that are in recovery know what this feels like. When someone says that to you it is almost a shot to your heart.

It always has the same basic feeling to me. There is the initial shock to the system. There used to be some resentment that would creep in there.... and then there was the jealousy that would come.

I just had someone who was very close to me to me that they had been drinking. I was pretty shocked even though I knew that it was very possible with this person. It still sucks though. I knew that there was pretty much nothing that I could do about it either. People have to live their own lives and can only use me to give them advice or let them know about my experience. I can't live their lives for them. This has taken me a long time to realize.

My sobriety date is coming up pretty soon. It is something that is so sacred to me. I will never let anyone or anything take that away from me.

I just have to be there for those people that chose a different path then me. That is all that i can do. I will happily do that for this person. I will be there for them. If they need me.