I've got bigger fish to fry...

So when it all comes down to it...ive got reasons to smile. and i really didnt have any reason to last year at around this time. I know, I know that this too shall pass...
but right now i can smile. because there is some things that would of made me really frustrated and mad a year ago. now i know that there are bigger catastrophies in life. worse things have happened to me in this life.
like for instance, today i showed up way early to work. I thought that i was supposed to work at 9. and the schedule had been changed and i was now working at 1pm. even though i had asked the week before...making sure that the schedule hadnt changed...but shit happens, and it did. some people really expected me to be mad about being at work a good 4 hours early. but i just smiled and made the realization that i had a job....a job that i really love...
ive got bigger things that have happened to me...and i have beautiful people around me, that love me..

Let The Fool Go..

I really appriciate the new found gift I have been given. This beautiful thing is called listening. Something that I was pretty much forced into...because the way that I was doing shit wasn't really working...
So today...I heard something from a woman that I have come to respect very much.
She was discribing the difference between those who really haven't been through those "fire" kind of times and those who have. Those that have been shown that there really is more to this life then stepping over people to get what you want. People that are really hardcore,mechanical, and methodical in the way they go about their daily business.
Then there are the ones like us who wave really been thrown to the ground by life...seeing the full spectrum of what life can give out.
And you know what...if i had to choose between the two. between a life of power and pomp...or a life of self discovery and growth.
Ill take the latter...thank you very much


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The Lightbulb..you know The One Above Your Head..

It is strange to me that some people have come to rely on me for guidance. But I guess that is how this whole thing works doesn't it...one person asking another person to share the particular experience on a subject. It just so happens that the area that I have a little experience in is alcoholism.
I find my self so overjoyed to share what I have gained from the Program and through recovery. Especially to someone that I love and care about.
It is truly a gift. A gift that I was given so freely. There is no way that I am ever going to be able to give back what this Program has given.
But I can try...I'm just glad that there is hope.

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Twelve-o-clocktails..

I was just thinking of what I would of been doing right at this moment if I was still full-blown in my disease. I called it twelve-o-clocktails..and I didn't really give a shit what people thought of it. It's what I did..and I didn't surround myself with anyone who didn't.
That's just how I liked my days to be. Very very boozy. I was very proud and loud when I was called an alcoholic. That was what I wanted out of my life. Anything that involved alcohol consumption on an astronomical level.
Now I'm proud to call myself an alcoholic for a different reason. I can't picture my life any other way.
So..today has been a pretty good day. Alot different kind of a day then I used to have. Waking up and going to a meeting pretty early. Earlier then I ever used to get up.
Doing work on myself. Trying to dig and figure things out about myself.
I'm a big fan of days like this..

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Let's Be Adults Here

When something happens to you. And you know it's going to fucking sting. Don't you usually try and protect yourself. Or at least make a preemptive strike?? That's what I always have done. Protection at all cost.
By putting something out there I have to be ready to feel the sting. Everyday I am learning. And that is the difference now and before.
Everyday is a learning experience. And have to treat it as such.

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A New September

I don't know why. But I'm having a beautiful day. And it all started with a meeting...and a sunrise. I love being able appriciate the sunrise..instead of dreading it. Or drowning it.
I can't really remember when the last time that I had a total and complete good day. Alas the day is not over yet...but I would have to say that I'm off to a good start.

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