500.

So today is day 500 in my sobriety.
And all that I can do is smile and be thankful for all of the days that I have had. All of the days that have led me here. All of the people that have been with me. Everyone that has talked me through all of those moments... All of these things, one day at a time.
I was walking out my door this morning, looking at the Monterey Bay, thinking about the last 500 days. I called the water company about our bill... and I thought to myself... wow, you would of never of done that before.. without a few drinks.
It's funny to think of all of the things that I used to have to have booze to do. Just to get out of bed. It was never like that at the beginning.. but it soon got to be that way. Alcohol became a crutch that I could not live without.. that I did not think that I could be without. It really is amazing the beating that the human body can take... and I put my body through hell. At the time I really could care less about what was happening to me. The consumption of alcohol was what I had become.. At the end.. I didnt want to talk to anyone, I didnt want to talk to any girls, I didnt want to watch baseball (God forbid), I didnt want to walk down the street unless it was on the way to a bar.... I didnt want to do anything. All that I really wanted to do was drink, and pass out. It was my way of escaping everything that was going on around me... I hated to word potential, with a passion.. because it was always used in the same sentence as my name. Ususaly the word "wasted" was in there too.... for a couple of reasons. hehe.
I remember thinking when I first got into rehab.. this will all change when the alcohol is out of my system. All of this will be gone. And that was the furthest thing from the truth. The booze were merely a symptom. There was alot more going on inside richie rich.. alot more to deal with. That was when I realized how messed up this disease really was. and when I realized how much work this was going to be... how the work would never ever stop..
And the work will never stop. That has been very evident to me in the last two weeks or so. It can never stop... because I can very easily go back to where i was before all of this..and I never do. So I thank my higher power for 500 days or walking in the sunlight of the spirit...