Friday, November 14, 2008

not the brightest star in the sky...

you have those days where just everything seems to be off...well i have been having less and less of them since i got sober..but yesterday was a day of real ups and downs...
and the added knowledge of all of the locations of bars that are open does not help the situation...its not like i was going to drink or anything..not even close. but thats the kind of shit that just enters into my mind...im an alcoholic for christs sake.
people were just getting to me last night. a couple of people that i know in the program that have a good amount of time just went out. and they seemed so strong to me..but life happens i guess. I just get frustrated when people go out....do they not know whats at stake...i mean really. atleast for me..I know that I will die. pretty fucking simple. I never want to go back to the way that I felt...just waiting to die.
Im glad that there is another day..another day thats not filled with the same old shit.

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