I do know that everything happens for a reason. That is very much something that I do know and that I do respect. Sometimes you wish that it was you that decided what should happen and why. I know that I would fuck it all up anyway so it's good that I'm not.
One of my friends.. actually, my ex-girlfriend, just got engaged. and you know what my first reaction was when I saw the news...I was disgusted in myself for letting her get away.. I shed a little tear. and then turned it into a couple of second of self pity..
I guess that it was my right to feel that way for a couple of seconds.. like i had lost something. Then I just had to crack a pretty big smile.. and realize that it's not really about me anymore. I used to think that it was all about me..
I still have to feel that I missed out on something truly magical. But I know that there was so much between me and that magic. So much that had to be removed for me to even be healthy... but I recovered now.. and my eyes are open...
Im very very happy for my old friend.. thinking about her being happy makes my heart smile.. and thats what life is about.
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Yo, it's always all about me.
ReplyDeleteJust kidding. I'm glad you can acknowledge her joy, because, duh. She probably deserves it.