Thursday, August 21, 2008

180 more then i would of ever imagined

so there is no way that i will be able to ever express my gratitude...i have 180 days clean and sober..6 whole months. and i can't believe it...
i was walking around my new home last night just thinking of all of the things that have changed in my life in the last 6 months. I was walking past a parked taxi that had the radio tuned to some soft jazz station..and the breeze was just right. and i just stopped and looked around myself. and i couldnt ever remember a time when i had been drinking when i had ever done that. just taken a moment for myself and said thank you...to the power that got me here.
because just as my father loves to remind me...I did'nt do shit. and i know that. I had no hand in any of this. if you would of asked me six months ago if i though i was going to be sober i would of though that you were crazy. there was no way that i could imagine my life going more then a day let alone 6 fucking months without alcohol..
its really just the little things that i really notice now. the small soft things that i never ever even saw before...and they are amazing.
i can say that i have grown more in the last 6 months then i have in the past 10 years. and there is now way that any of that would of ever of happened if it wasnt for the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous...i love the program so very much. and i cant imagine my life without it.
i have gained a blueprint for a way of life...a plan of action. and actual direction. the light at the end of the tunnel is so much more visable...but i know now that its not even really about the light..its about the journey getting there. 180 days....who would of thought....

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