Friday, June 10, 2011

Sometimes I forget..

Sometime I forget that I am an alcoholic... I mean, not that I want to drink. I think that I am over the whole drinking thing. I don't see myself ever drinking again.. ( or atleast not drinking today). What I am talking about is all of the alcoholic tendencies that I have. These are the old behavior patterns that  I have always had. The reason that I drank in the first place. The resentments that are swirling around me all of the time.
I hadnt been to a meeting in over a month. Maybe over two months I really don't know, but I went to one last week. Everytime that I do go to a meeting I know that is where I am supposed to be. That is the thing that makes me different then others that I know. I have AA with me in my life, because I am an alcoholic. I am proud that I am an alcoholic because it gives me somewhere to go.
I went to a meeting tonight... and I am so glad that I did. One of my friends had gone out about 4 days ago.. and was back in.  I remember during my first year of recovery, when someone went out I would get mad and resentful.. I would think to myself, "how could you go out, you know what is out there. Don't you see how good it is in here." Now, over 3 years later... I am so glad that if they went out... that they are back in, and not dead.

2 comments:

  1. Hallo.I'm from Sweden and I dont understand everything you wright because my english is not so good men i have understand that you have problems whit alcohol! I wish you good luck to be strong enough to not drink enymoore!Margaretha!

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