Thankful

Today I am very thankful for my sobriety... I am so thankful that I am here and that I have the ability to love.... that I have a heart that has the ability to love.

Tonight I was invited to a friend's family home. It was a great place for me to be because the last time that I was there was about 3 months before I got sober. As you can guess I was a total wreck and everyone around me knew it. The train was just about to hit the wall and the whole world could see that the end of the line was near. I was the only one that was still stuck deep in the denial of it all.

I got to show myself to them... 5 years later. I am a totally different person then I was 5 years ago. I have a capacity to feel and be present. I have the ability to hold a conversation and look people in the eye when I am talking to them. I have the ability to talk about that night 5 years ago and remember it for what it was.... somewhere that I will never forget.

I can go back to that place really quickly too. I just have to do what I was doing before. Not putting one foot in front of the other.... and not doing the next right thing.

I am so thankful for my life today... even if there are hard stretches. That is what life gives me and I am living life on lifes terms... something that I could never do before.

Talk to you soon everyone... its been an amazing day.

Everything Around Me.

I am really getting to love the holidays.. I have always really loved this time of year. but it has been for different reasons.. any excuse to drinks with friends and be merry. This year I am going up to the Bay Area and hanging out with my big sister and her husband. They make the best dinners ever... so i am super excited this year.
Something else recently happened to me... I changed my sobriety date. No I have not relapsed. but I realized that something was wrong when i was looking at some old pictures on my computer.. and saw that one of the pictures was dated Feb 24, 2008 and I was in a bar. That was the last time that I had a drink. I asked a friend of mine that was there the first day that I was in treatment... and she said that I was in her office at 8:30am on Feb 26th.. 2008. So there it is... my new sobriety date. Not like it really makes that big of a difference. But it does to me.. I just want to get it out there and be honest about it..
Well... I will be taking pictures. I hope that everyone out there has a great holiday.. especially my blog friend Sarah.. you deserve it lady.