The New Home...

Last night was my first night in my new house. I slept there last night before my roommates.. it was a really great feeling to wake up in the new space because it has so much more light then my old place had. The old place really looked like it was right of Boogie Nights with the shag carpeting and the wood panel walls.. It made the place so dark and really left the room lacking. I really never thought of it as home because it really wasnt.. It just didnt have that feeling.. a feeling of familiarity that a home is supposed to have..
I got a promotion at work. One that I have been working for.. for a long time. And it feels really good. I finally feel like I have an adult job. At least thats what my brother says...
Overall.. I am moving right along. I feel that things are moving in the right direction. Things in front of me are very bright..

The Hayday...

I'm sitting in a coffee spot in Carmel. One of my favorites in the world. Right smack dab in downtown Carmel...my adopted little rich person town. I'm listening to some Carmelites talk about their hayday in San Francisco. And how the City used to be when they were there...kicking ass and taking names. They talk about their old haunts and watering holes...and it is really hard for me to not chime in. I just want to say...I've drank there, Ive drank there!! And almost every place that they mentioned..I had memories. Or lack of memories...
Then..my mind went to my last drink. And how scared I was to take it. How bad that I wanted it...and how bad I didn't want it. Knowing now about how much fear dominated my life....that last one was some scary shit! The rest of that day wasn't a picnic either. But I had to get through it.
I signed the lease on a house yesterday...i'm living with a good friend. And if you would of told me a year ago that I would have a full time job with the company that I do...and have a house that had the most beautiful view of the Monterey Bay ever...I wouldn't of believed it. Not for a second. The gifts of that last drink...I am a grateful alcoholic. Now I really know what that means.