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Thats right.. I am double dipping today.

I had a minor freak out today. It was nothing super major.... alright, it was. You can see a little bit about it in my previous post. I was having somethings happen to me today and I had to express myself about them.

There are things that I know that are good for me.. but at the same time I don't want them to happen because they are going to hurt me emotionally. They feel like sandpaper on my face and I don't want them to happen... but I KNOW that it is the best for me.  Usually this revolves around stopping communications with specific people that I have no business communicating with because there is really nothing good for me to say to them.

Time and space are the things that are most needed... but to do this would mean that I would have to admit to myself that these feelings of pain are immanent.

I really hate feeling pain especially when it comes to relationships. I know that these are the times that make me grow and change.. but they still suck.

Last year at this time I was talking about the same thing as the new year came around. I was talking about how this new year was going to revolve around me.. and it was going to be the ALL ME 2013...  It was like that for a good amount of time.. all the way until April. I am hoping that I will be able to recapture some of that same spirit that made me change as a person at the beginning of last year.

I know that this is possible. Everything is possible in my world. Always was and it always will be.

The pain sucks.. but it is the touchstone for positive change in my life. It has been the past couple of times that it has happened to me.

Plus... Evidently.. I am a catch.