Because I'm Awesome

Sometimes I just have to say it out loud.

I really like the person that I am. I don't think that I have always been able to say that. There were times that I really didn't like myself through the years. I have always had a baseline love for myself... but there have been times when I have really hated the person that I had become. I hated the way that I treated people and hated the way that they looked at me.

I knew that they were not really seeing the real me anyway. They were seeing something that was not me. They were looking at me as if I were wearing a  mask. I had a lot of jaded views of a lot of different things. Love and affection were one of those things. I mean I was a lot younger then and a whole lot drunker.. all the time.

Sometimes when I look back on it I just think of all of the lost chances that I had.. with pretty amazing people. That is part of my story and those people have made me who I am.  When I think about those times all that I can really do is smile because.. thats all that i can do. I can't dwell on those times and those choices. I just have to be aware of them because I can try not to make the same mistakes. Thats what life is though...  living and learning. Socializing and interacting with people... having different relationships with different people... making mistakes and making tough choices.

Those are all of the things that have brought me to this time and place. I can look around and say that I may think that i have regrets... but really I don't because I can't imagine my life any better then it is right now. I have everything that anyone could ever want....  life and love.

My gratitude lists are awesome.