Because I'm Awesome

Sometimes I just have to say it out loud.

I really like the person that I am. I don't think that I have always been able to say that. There were times that I really didn't like myself through the years. I have always had a baseline love for myself... but there have been times when I have really hated the person that I had become. I hated the way that I treated people and hated the way that they looked at me.

I knew that they were not really seeing the real me anyway. They were seeing something that was not me. They were looking at me as if I were wearing a  mask. I had a lot of jaded views of a lot of different things. Love and affection were one of those things. I mean I was a lot younger then and a whole lot drunker.. all the time.

Sometimes when I look back on it I just think of all of the lost chances that I had.. with pretty amazing people. That is part of my story and those people have made me who I am.  When I think about those times all that I can really do is smile because.. thats all that i can do. I can't dwell on those times and those choices. I just have to be aware of them because I can try not to make the same mistakes. Thats what life is though...  living and learning. Socializing and interacting with people... having different relationships with different people... making mistakes and making tough choices.

Those are all of the things that have brought me to this time and place. I can look around and say that I may think that i have regrets... but really I don't because I can't imagine my life any better then it is right now. I have everything that anyone could ever want....  life and love.

My gratitude lists are awesome.

Where's Your Soul At?

Brass Tacks

I just thought that I would share this with you. If I have posted this before I am sorry but I think that it just about sums up everything.

Risk

What are you willing to take a chance on right after you have been hurt? 

When I listen to all of the lovely friends around me give their opinions... I hear so many different things. Like I should take time to find myself or that I should just go for it and put myself out there. 

What choice should I make?.. or is there really a choice in it at all. I usually go with my gut when it comes to things like this. If there is something that is so amazing in front of you.... then you should take the chance because that amazing thing might not be there when you decide that you are ready for it. 

How do you decide that you are ready for it anyway? Is there a moment in your life maybe a year down the road when you just stop yourself and say.... I'm ready.  Now I can venture forth and do what I need to do for myself. 

I am all for trying to find out who I am. I am very aware that this is an essential part of the human experience. Is there some reason that i have to do that by myself. Is it necessary? Who said that it was a necessary thing to be by myself to find myself?

I am more a part of the school that wears their heart on their sleeve and gets it knocked off once in a while. I don't just throw around my love to anyone.. there has only been a select few. When I do find someone who is like no one that I have ever come across before... you can be damn sure that I am going to take the chance.... because that chance may not come again.