I do know that everything happens for a reason. That is very much something that I do know and that I do respect. Sometimes you wish that it was you that decided what should happen and why. I know that I would fuck it all up anyway so it's good that I'm not.
One of my friends.. actually, my ex-girlfriend, just got engaged. and you know what my first reaction was when I saw the news...I was disgusted in myself for letting her get away.. I shed a little tear. and then turned it into a couple of second of self pity..
I guess that it was my right to feel that way for a couple of seconds.. like i had lost something. Then I just had to crack a pretty big smile.. and realize that it's not really about me anymore. I used to think that it was all about me..
I still have to feel that I missed out on something truly magical. But I know that there was so much between me and that magic. So much that had to be removed for me to even be healthy... but I recovered now.. and my eyes are open...
Im very very happy for my old friend.. thinking about her being happy makes my heart smile.. and thats what life is about.
Yo, it's always all about me.
ReplyDeleteJust kidding. I'm glad you can acknowledge her joy, because, duh. She probably deserves it.