Sunset..

The Rewards.

Milestones.

I went to my morning meeting. And got my 2 year chip. I love being able to celebrate things like this in my life. Really positive things. And it's only the beginning. 30 years old and 2 years sober. Sounds good to me.

Two Years and Counting..

So today is my two year sobriety birthday.. this year moved by alot faster then the first year did.. and it was quite the ride.. the second year that is. I wouldnt have it any other way. i started the day off with my morning meeting, and it was the best way to get the day started. I was given a beautiful donut birthday gift with 2 candles sticking out of it.. it was one of the biggest donuts that i have ever seen in my life. I was almost scared of it..
Then after the meeting I went to my recovery house.. where my recovery all started to me.. I consider my sobriety date the second that I first walked into that house. Well the second time that I walked into that house.. . So I got to see some of the people that were in the house right now.. and I got to tell them a little of my story.. and discribe to them that I was exactly where they were 2 years ago. and that they were in the right place..
Then I went to work.. and its where I want to be on this day, because its where I have to practice paticiene. This really wasnt my day.. it was my higher powers day. Thats all that I really needed to know..

I went to my favorite meeting this evening.. the mens meeting that i first went to when i came back into after i went out.. the place that i first really let go and listened to the men around me... the first place that i shut up and listened.. and i heard alot tonight..
i heard how you have to stand up for what you believe.. and take a stand. it was just what i needed..

So here we go into year three... i love being sober. I love living like this.. living and learning from those around me.. every day...

Let's Get this Show on the Road.

So today I have a day off. I am pretty excited about the whole thing... really I am. I love my job, but a day off is quite beautiful. I am heading back up to the City of San Francisco for the first time in awhile.. I am going to be staying with my big sis up there.. So tonight should be a really good night.
Today in my morning meeting we talked about gratitude and where you are now. I felt compelled to chime in and offer my two cents about the whole thing. I described where my life has taken me in the last two years and how much that it means to me.

Its funny sometimes. Somebody asked me a couple of days ago why my life revolves around AA and recovery. This person wasnt in recovery obviously and didnt have any kind of program. To them AA was kind of a burden that you had to graduate from. I have heard from alot of wise people that AA I will never graduate from. There is always something to learn. I don't think that I ever want to gradate from this school of spirituality and nice slow geologic change. I quite nice where I am.. and I love where I am going.

Insanity. Complete Insanity

 So I'm sitting at a local place.. Right by my work.... Sitting at the bar like I usually do. Because that is usually where you get the best service... And Iam getting to listen to all of the colorful conversation all around me. Remembering what I would of been saying if I was in the same place a little over 2 years ago. And how different it is now.
I don't miss washing cocktail glasses very much. I really don't miss the smells at all. Clearing all of the straws and booze soaked napkins out of the sink. I really don't miss it at all.
I'm going to the City tomorrow to see some old friends. And see some old faces. People that are really doing alot of the same old stuff. It helps me remember where I'm at. And how I got there.


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What moves you..

Lately I have been thinking alot about the things that really move me.. the things that make me smile and want to take a deep breath... thanking my higher power for every second.. I know that it has alot to do with the people that you choose to surround yourself with.. and I have great people around me. Like the people that I work with. I work the most intelligent and talented people every single day. No matter what I say about it on a day by day basis.. The job really does move me. I get paid a awesome amount of money to have a positive impact on peoples lives.. and help them see what they never thought was possible..
Today was a really good day.. but there was the sprinkling of the fear in there. Just as there is everyday.. but tomorrow I am looking forward to going to a meeting in the morning.. and being around alot of people that are like me..

This has been in my head all day!

I love it when a song just really makes you feel good.. and thats why we love music.

Now.. Right Now

That is what I have been trying to work on in the last couple of days.. living in the here and now. It is alot harder then it sounds but I am getting alot better at it. Today I am making an effort to live for today.. and come from a place of love and not from a place of fear..
Like most of you guys know I have been going back to my morning meetings again.. and I am so glad that I am. Last week I skipped a day and I wasnt the same for the rest of the day.. The group just starts me off on the right foot and makes me think. No matter how tired I am I know that if I dont go I know that I am not going to be the same for the rest of the day..  The conversation that takes place in my morning meeting is so substantive. It always makes me think.
So today I am going to try to stay in the now.. all day.

Refocus

This is what seems to be the common theme with me. I start to lose focus of what is really important in my life. The things that got me here.. The serious business that I need to take care of for myself. And that is my program. I guess I get easily distracted by others that I care about in my life. I never ever intend to do it in the beginning because it always seems like everything is working out. But as time goes by.. I start to drift a little.
So I started to go back to my morning meeting. You know the one that pretty much was the story of my first year. Well it has been almost 8 months since I walked in that door.. And I have been going for 3 days now. My day is just so much better if I go to a meeting in the morning. I just have to get centered and on the right page. The people that go to that meeting have so much to say... And I have alot that I need to listen too.
I'm kinda over the whole bummer mood that I have been in over the past couple of days. I just really don't like hurting someone that I care about.
But I'm here.. And I'm refocusing.


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Location:Monterey Peninsula Recreational Trail,Pacific Grove,United States

this sucks.

Sometime things have to be done for your self that are going to hurt someone that you care about. Even if it makes them think that you don't care about them.  The last thing that I want to do in my life is to hurt someone else.. but sometimes it happens.. It has happened to me in my recovery. When I think back on those times I know now that it was for the right reason and that it needed to happen. The timing of everything just want right and it was my Higher Power's will that it happened..
Some things in life are not fair.. and it tears me to the core.. the blame here lies with me.. and me only..