there comes a time..

today was one of those really big days in my sobriety... one of those days that really just should of happened earlier..
so in the last couple of posts i have been hinting that something was really pretty wrong with the way that I was doing things. I have just been sitting back and resting on my laurels for a long time.
Like classic Richie Rich fashion... I have made a situation a whole lot bigger then it ever really had to be. I pretty much dragged out something that really only should of taken five or ten minutes and streched it out over 3 weeks.. This overwhelming feeling of dread, fear and doom has been looming over my head like there was some cataclysmic event that was heading my way. Like something that was far worse then anything that I had ever been through before.
So... I took care of what was bothering me. I decided that I needed to work with a new sponsor. And I made it seem like I was breaking up with a high school girlfriend. I had done it before. I had changed sponsors before and I did the same thing exactly... except that my first sponsor was a little more scary looking then my second sponsor...
I went to a meeting at noon today... and right when I walked in I was asked to pick the topic and share a little bit. and that was God's way of telling me that i should shit or get off the pot.... so my topic was about fear. and that is what I choose to talk about... and many of the men talked about living in the now.... and I was clearly not living in the now. at all..
when I left... I knew that this was the time.
But when I finally stepped up to the place with a bat in my hand and did what I had to do... it was really easy. and my sponser totally understood what was happening..and we both knew that it was the right thing.
so now i am getting a new sponsor... and starting the steps all over again. and I am excited.