Must be present to win....

i heard that at my morning meeting. and I loved it. because it is so damn true. That was such a big problem for me when i was using..really being present in real life situations.
Like when my grandmother and mother both past away...and I used it as an excuse to drink. Well I would use anything as an excuse to drink...really. But everytime that I was around my family i was always on edge..and really thinking that i needed the relief that was to come from alcohol...and now i have trouble really even remembering some of those last precious moments with my mother...the moments that i will never have to do over again. My mother was a recovering addict...and she knew what was happening to me...and she knew that the only choice that i had was to either get some help...or die.
Im just so glad that I can be the one that people can come to. a person that can be relied upon...i always thought that i was that person...but my use came first...not anymore.