Conversations are Priceless

Wow I used to think that conversations were all about me... basically relaying how great I though that I was. I just wanted everyone to know what I thought that i knew....

I don't remember conversations that really had a lot of meat to them. I know that there were a lot of drunken talk about plans that were made... dinners and brunches that were planned that never happened. Sometime we would talk about how we would want to change the world from our bar stool...  but you all know how that goes. Basically there was a lot of whiskey fueled hot air that was coming out of my mouth.

The reason that i am bringing this up right now is because I have had some amazing conversations in the last couple of days with my amazing friend. My birthday was a couple of days ago and I was floored by just how much love that I received... I know how many people out there love me but this was just amazing to me. I totally cried when I got up and say all of the texts and messages that I received.

Most of them were people saying hello and how much they loved be... but some of them were really deep heartfelt expressions of gratitude.  I was walking through the whole day like I was on cloud nine.. It was the best birthday that I had ever had in my life. I know that people say that every year but I cannot remember a better birthday for me.

During the last week I have had some conversations with friends... and new friends that have really shown me just how important it is to have people that you can connect with on a deeper level. I guess as I get old I just don't care about a lot of that surface, chit-chat kind of conversation.

That is what I am striving for in my life these days. Deep connecting conversations....

31 Balboa #muni #richmonddistrict #balboa #sfigers #Sfcitylife #longexposure #lazyshutters

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Sorrow Unmasked

Hey everyone. Here is a quote that I heard a couple of days ago while I was in yoga. I sure do love quotes from people espically when they are inspirational in nature. Some people think that this kind of thing is all sunshine and moonbeams... sparkles and rainbows.  I think about it like this... I feel that these are things that I already know in my heart but I just have not vocalized them yet... and you know what, someone else has.

“Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.”

-Kahlil Gibran

Big Man. #brothers #muni #life #sfcitylife #sfblackandwhite #blackandwhite #love #family #sfigers #love #instagood #iphonography #igers #iphonegraphy #photooftheday #instadaily #instamood #bestoftheday #noir

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Good for the Soul

Have you ever just had a really great conversation that made you glad that you were alive? It seems that I have had a good amount of those lately and I can't tell you just how much that they mean to me. Really having to think about the major nuts and bolts of life and getting feedback from some amazing people. You all know who you are....

The Boot

So my car got booted. Seriously?! They said that I had 6 outstanding tickets on my car. I tried to dispute the tickets with the guys but that's not their job. They are just there to find and boot cars. 

I was teetering on over reaction... I could just see it. I stopped for a bit and really thought about my part in the whole thing. If I wouldn't of had these parking tickets then they wouldn't be booting my car. So I really could not be that mad. I had to think about it differently. 

I had to take the bus down to the place where you can pay your tickets. First good thing was that this place was open and they allowed you to pay and get the boot off on the same night. I would be screwed if it had to wait until tomorrow. 

I went down and paid my tickets and they were super expensive. Second good thing was that I have the means to pay the tickets. Even if I will pay for them later.... 6 years ago I would of been screwed even more. 

I was getting a little mad when I was paying the tickets and then I remembered that these people were just doing their jobs. Third good thing was that I was grateful that I was not doing their jobs... Because I work in customer service and I understand how hard it is when someone is pissed at you for something you had nothing to do with.

Then as I was leaving... I walked by the sfpd with someone out of their car at gunpoint... Fifth good thing was that I was not getting pulled over with a felony stop. 

I feel a little bit better about the whole thing. It's only money right? This would of wrecked me years ago and I would of been pissed at everyone... Except for the person that was ultimately responsible.... Me. 

Our Business

I always come back to the pure power of recovery.... Of the person that has reached out their hand and offered to that person how is need of help. That person that is scared and is not knowing what to do. All that they know is that they need to be in a meeting. Maybe their friends of family member urged them to go... Maybe they saw the movie Flight with Denzel Washington and could relate to tearing up a hotel room because the mini bar bottles just looked so damn good.

No matter what the reason... Everytime that I see it or am part of that process it makes me feel more alive then amything else. Like that is what I was out on this earth for..... To be there for people, just like there where people there for me. 

Watching someone come in and be so broken right down to the bone... but know that there is hope.

Today I was in a mens meeting... and i had all kinds of my own crap going on in my head. I was really trying to get my head where it should be when i am in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.. in the solution.  The meeting is a Big Book study meeting that goes for an hour. We take turns reading a paragraph out of the book and we go in an order. After a couple of people had read I heard something that completely took me off guard.. and something that I had never heard in a mens meeting before...

I heard a woman's voice reading... I didn't know what to do. I could feel my skin start to crawl because i was uncomfortable. No one in the room said anything and the woman just kept reading.... and then i heard another woman read.  As i thought to myself about what should be happening next i just thought that I would do what I always did in a situation like this in AA. It was something that i learned many years before when I was at my mens homegroup in Pacific Grove... just defer to the men who had more experience and more time then I did. Men like these had taught me how to become a man... so I didn't do anything.

As we finished the reading it was time to share and it turned out that both of the women were in dangerous situations and really needed a meeting. Both had a string of bad days and had not been to a meeting in months. If the men in that room had turned those women away.... who knows what might of happened... but we didn't. I was so proud to be a member of that group today.

Two other men spoke about crazy scrapes that they had been in over the past 10 days... losing jobs and families... and getting arrested. Through it all they knew where they had to be when all of that stuff stopped... and there were men (and women) that were right there for them.

On the Monterey Intergroup's Website they have a really great saying that pretty much puts it all into perspective....

If you want to drink... thats your business.
If you want to stop.... thats our business.

Damn straight.