Hope.... is the opposite of fear.

Sometimes you have to just sit back and marvel in the pure genius of the whole thing. I have to remember that my Higher Power's plan is so much better then the plan that I have for myself. That I have to really just get out of the way and feel it. There are things that right there in front of me.
This is a really great weekend for me.. or at least it has been so far.

I hung out with a friend of mine that is in the program.. someone that is very very close to me in sobriety time. Like the closest person that I know. We got sober right at the same time.

We went to a morning meeting that takes place every Sunday.. but the real amazing thing about this meeting where it takes place..... right in the middle of a redwood forest, down the beautiful California Coast, in Big Sur. In this place if you have any qualms about the existence of something greater then yourself... they really go right out the window.

This meeting's topic was Hope. Something that is near and dear to my heart. Something was said by someone there, Fear is the opposite of Hope. I knew that, but It amazes me how much I forget it. That was i have in front of me is Hope, when all there used to be was fear.

Being comfortable in my own skin... and with other people. Pure Gold. I love this life. Love my Sobriety.

I take a moment.. to remember all of those who serve this country. Wherever they are... and I don't care the reason that they are.. they are.  To those that have died to protect the country that I love.

I take a moment to think about all of those who are still out there... searching for something..  anything to change. Just like me over 2 years ago.
  Happy Memorial Day...

My Grandmother..

This reminds me of my grandmother..

Blah Blah Blah

Just sitting in the sun. On my lunch break... Thinking about all of the good things that are going on in my life. I want to progress.. And I think that's what I am doing. A longtime ago I used to write poetry... It was my outlet. Something that I could express myself through. Something that I could hold and feel. I stopped and I really can't put my finger on why I did. I just did. Maybe I should start that again.
When I was writing. I came up with something that really discribes what I'm about...
Constant progression, anti-stagnation.



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Well... thats just perfect.

I had my car broken into yesterday, and yes it sucks to get victimized like that. For some reason I took it really very well. I think that I knew that it was God's way of telling me something. Maybe he was telling me that I need to remember all of the great things that I have in this world.  Everything did work itself out in the end... and I got my glass replaced.

I then got to see this... (look above). I really couldn't believe what I was seeing at the time. It is probably the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen while I have been living here. I have seen some great things in my recovery.. but this one really took the cake. It is really so clear.. I think that I can see God in it.

I got a message from a really good friend of mine.. that is battling cancer right now. She is going in for a second round of chemo. She asked me how I had handled all the hard times that I had been through in the past 2 years.. First, I had to tell her that in no way could I compare my situation in life to hers. To me they were like apples and oranges. At the same time though.. I told her that when I made the realization that i wasn't the one in control and didn't have to be.. it was a big relief to me. I hope that she thinks that she can call on me during this time. I get to do these things for people today.. there is no way that i would of been able to do that before.

Then to top it all off tonight ... I talked to someone that I haven't talked to since high school... and it was awesome.

I just had to share this. How to Share in a Meeting.

Ok all...
I just saw this. This is one of my favorite blogs of all time.. it is in my blogroll...
The Last Chance Texaco.. and how to share in a meeting.
http://thelastchancetexaco.com/how-to-share-in-a-meeting/trackback/

Just in Case I ever Forgot

Sometimes I have these little expances of time when I think that I might be able to go out there again.. and see what the drinking and using world has for me.. these little flickers of my disease are really very short. Thanks to my higher power and some other examples.. I snap out of them quickly.
I heard about some people that have gone out recently.. and seen what the world had for them. Thank God for these people going out there and doing the research for me..
The stories are littered with pain.. anger.. and arrests. Not just little arrests.. but major major arrests.. that will lead to years and years in jail. Basically lives that have been destroyed because of the reemergence of this cunning and baffling disease..
So very glad that I havent gone out like that... I have gone out before, but I knew that I was totally screwed when I was out too far. I knew when I had to reel it back in. If I wouldnt of dont that, I know that I would be in jail or I would be dead.

Glad that I am not dead.. and that I am here on a Sunday. Writing to you all..

Go Climb a Rock.

Its been quite awhile since I have written on my blog. And its all my fault..

Its still really amazing to me just how much fear is involved in almost everything that I do. It used to be way worse then it is now.. when I was drinking I used to just drink to mask the whole thing. But when the drinking stopped all of the fear just came bursting our. All of the anxiety was really overwelming, it made me never want to have those feeling ever again. But I know that they will come again some day.. because I know that this too shall pass..

Other then that.. I have been doing somethings that I have been wanting to do for awhile... like I took up rock climbing.. and I DIG it. I really like it. I was introduced to the whole thing by a friend of mine from work..
and I really like what it is doing for me. I am learning about so many things about myself that I never knew about before. Like how I have all of these muscles that I never ever knew existed before.. there is this whole group of them in my forearms that I never knew were there before..
Im learning alot about my sense of balance.. I like it because it is really meditative. Im getting really into the mental side of alot of things in my life.. taking time to think about what I am doing. So this is perfect for me ..
I will let you all know how its going.. and I will post some pictures..